NEW YEAR’S DAY 2009

By Staff Reports

Published: January 1, 2009

Those New Year's resolutions of old somehow seem out of date for 2009.

How can you resolve to keep your closets straight when you're worried you might lose the house? Or stick to your fitness plan when you can't afford that gym membership anymore?

In these bleak times, resolutions have more to do with faith, hope and perseverance.

We talked with area residents about what sustains them when life gets hard. For many, the year is beginning with a sense of trepidation that is also tinged with optimism. Read more on Page A6.

The Rev. Samuel Boulos said he believes and trusts in the mercy of "the Lord who created us," but something more is needed in this crisis.

People must mend their selfish ways and do more to help each other, said Boulos, the priest at Archangel Michael and St. Anthony Coptic Orthodox Church in Richmond.

"Selfishness is a very common disease," he said. "It is a spiritual sickness."

Life is filled with ups and downs during normal times, Boulos said. "But what is happening these days is a bit different."

In his congregation three families have recently left for Egypt after years in this country.

A few weeks ago he drove to the airport a family with two children who had spent the past seven years here. He worries how the children will adapt culturally to a homeland where they did not grow up.

But the parents felt they could not afford to live here anymore.

His congregation of about 100 families now has a simple plan to help those in need. He has asked members to reduce their expenses by only buying what they truly need.

The money they save will go to a fund that will help others.

It may be hard to change our ways, Boulos said, but it is necessary.

"That's how we can still have hope," he said.

-- Karin Kapsidelis

. . .

Jibran Muhammad has advice on how to look at 2008 if it wasn't a good year.

"Bad times give us a clearer look," he said.

Muhammad speaks from experience: He came from Pakistan at 16, barely able to speak English. His family struggled to pay the rent. Ten years later, he is president of Virginia Commonwealth University's student government association with plans to go to law school after he graduates in the spring.

"With every adversity, I developed new muscle on the inside, so I feel strong and optimistic," he said.

That optimism is reflected in his view that the past year was a good one and the new one will be even better.

He's confident that President-elect Barack Obama will bring new vitality to the country.

"I feel so sure America and the world will be benefited more by the economic downturn than it was by its preceding prosperity."

-- Karin Kapsidelis

. . .

In late August 1985, Earl Washington Jr. could hear the electric chair buzzing as it was tested near his basement cell at the former Virginia State Penitentiary.

Washington was 25, mentally disabled, alone and set to die Sept. 5, 1985, for a crime he did not commit. DNA testing and years of legal battles freed him in 2001.

"With me, I had what they call faith and hope. You've got to have faith and have strong hope. I think that's what got me through everything," Washington said. "When we was young we all went to church. That's where it come from."

Now 48, he has lived and worked in a Virginia Beach program, Support Services of Virginia, since February 2001, when he was released from the Greensville Correctional Center. He married his wife, Pam, in 2002.

A psychiatrist said two years ago that Washington suffers from a severe case of post traumatic stress syndrome and likely always will.

"Hope has got me through a lot of bad times," Washington said. "I been reading the Bible book. It keeps my spirit up."

His dream for this coming year is to buy a house, possibly with some of the money he was awarded in the 2007 settlement of a suit against the state.

A house, he believes, will mean less stress. Now, he said, "you've got to remember to pay your rent on time. If you don't, they're going to put you out."

-- Frank Green

. . .

Something about the current economic malaise seems to be disrupting the usual social cycle of relationships, says the Rev. Alane Cameron Miles of First Unitarian Universalist Church.

"Society at large is scared," she said. "People are not as open and engaging to people who have lost their jobs because they're scared about their own."

And that is unfortunate because finding a balance between personal relationships and introspection is what helps sustain people in difficult times, she said.

Relationships help "pull you out of yourself," she said. "If you have an ounce of compassion, you can't help but see other people's problems are bigger than your own."

But introspection is needed, too, or "we lose our own path."

She thinks the new year "could improve dramatically if we take some risks, turn off the TV, go out in our neighborhood . . . and give of ourselves."

"That's the kind of prosperity that goes way beyond anything economic," she said.

-- Karin Kapsidelis

. . .

Anthony Parham looks to his faith and family for support during trying times.

Parham has had custody of his 13-year-old son since his son's birth, but he admits he has not always been the best father.

Substance abuse and addiction made his life "unmanageable" for years, said the 41-year-old Richmond resident. A promising start at Virginia State University, where he played football, was one of the casualties of the life he spent "ripping and running in the streets."

"I lived to use, and used to live," Parham said. He entered The Healing Place, a recovery community in Richmond, on Dec. 4, 2007. He celebrated a year of being drugand alcohol-free last month.

He now teaches a class at The Healing Place one day a week and interacts with others on the journey to recovery. He also works at the furniture bank run by Embrace Richmond, a faith-based organization working to prevent homelessness.

"Last year I had to have my father, who has been real supportive of me, and my sister take care of Christmas for my son. This year . . . God granted me two jobs to be able to take care of everything [my son] needed."

Recent events give him hope for the coming year.

"I was able to witness some history with the president, the first black president. I hope he can help us get the economy back up where we can get more jobs and help more people."

His survival plan for the coming year means continuing his education.

"I have three years of college. I am planning on going back to school, get a degree and then a master's. I want to take up some type of sociology or substance-abuse counseling. . . . What helps me to stay focused is reaching back to help the next sick and suffering alcoholic like I was." -- Tammie Smith

. . .

Hope is hard to come by in Barbara Thompson's household.

She and her family had a rough 2008. The new year isn't looking promising.

The family of seven was forced out of Chesterfield County's Americana Trailer Park in October as it closed to make way for new development.

Plans to move into a new park in eastern Henrico hit a stumbling block when both mobile homes were damaged in the move. The family has been forced to live together in a problem-riddled home in the Northern Neck while things are sorted out.

Both of Thompson's sons have lost their jobs as a result, including 20-year-old Christopher, who supports a girlfriend with health problems and their two babies. Barbara and her husband, Ed, are disabled. The family is living off her Social Security checks as its sole source of income.

"We're not optimistic at all," Thompson said. "We've had every door closed in our face. We can't pay our bills. Our kids have lost their jobs because of things totally beyond their control. We're in the middle of a recession. At this point we've given up hope on just about everything."

They are living day to day. "All we can do is pray that there's going to be enough food," she said.

"I eat one meal a day to make sure there's enough for the babies and that we'll have enough money to stay reasonably warm. It's a nightmare. I hope it's better for other people than it is for us."

-- Wesley P. Hester