We Can All Help Those Who Are Sinking Dangerously Low

ROBIN BERES TIMES-DISPATCH COLUMNIST
Published: January 4, 2009

The holidays are over and the new year has begun. Americans -- for the most part an eternally optimistic bunch -- begin 2009 with trepidation, unsure of what the coming months hold. The majority of economists agree that things will get worse before they get better.

Holiday decorations have been put away, and bills and taxes are beginning to come due. Things are going to be tough -- both financially and emotionally -- for many. The prospect of two months of short, dreary days looming before we feel the blessed warmth of the springtime sun doesn't help.

As we embark on the New Year, we can make this winter brighter by pulling together and looking out for one another. It wouldn't hurt to try and hold on to as much of the Christmas spirit as we can. Norman Wesley Brooks said it well:

"Christmas is forever, not for just one day,

for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away

like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box

upon a shelf."

Just how important is it that we are there to support one another? Recently, at a dinner party, two separate guests arrived after visiting different funeral homes. Both of the deceased were victims of suicide. Both guests gut-wrenchingly related the abject pain and raw grief of family and friends. Hearts and prayers go out to all who suffer from such loss. It was a grim reminder that not everyone is able to respond to the gaiety of the holidays.

A recent Los Angeles Times news story noted that, contrary to popular belief, suicide rates decline as much as 40 percent during the holiday season. According to Dr. Douglas Jacobs, a psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School, Christmas actually offers protection for many of the vulnerable. The reasoning seems to be that families spend more time together and there is a greater concern shown to our fellow man during December.

But suicides occur all year long. In the U.S., on average, 80 people take their lives every day and 1,500 more make the attempt. Mental illness and depression don't go on holiday. Suicide rates -- which doubled from the 1950s to the late 1970s and leveled off in the 1980s -- are again on the rise, and the age at which people begin to attempt suicide is growing younger.

Middle-aged white men are the largest group of victims. But statistics show that for teens and young adults between ages 15-24, suicide is the third leading cause of death. For children between ages 5-14, it ranks as the fifth leading cause of death.

Ninety percent of those who die by suicide suffer from a diagnosable psychiatric disorder. Males die by their own hands at four times the rate of females, but women attempt suicide twice as often. Most men use a firearm -- it's by far the deadliest weapon.

It is estimated that every suicide drastically, intimately affects at least six people. Over and over, grieving loved ones continue to ask the unanswerable question of "Why?"

Suicide victims don't kill themselves because they are angry or want to hurt others. Mostly, they are in unfathomable personal pain and are emotionally bereft. They just want to stop hurting. In postings to various Internet sites by teens and young adults who contemplate suicide, the same phrase appears over and over: "Life sucks." Many are dealing with agonizing personal situations to which no one should have to be exposed.

Although the vast majority of depressed people are not suicidal, most suicidal people are severely depressed. We have all suffered some level of depression at one time or another. Usually the loss of someone close leaves an empty, gaping hole inside. It feels as if we will never be able to smile, or even function, again. Yet, eventually we recover.

We may always bear the emotional scars, but most of us overcome the debilitating depression. But imagine if that depression didn't go away. Imagine that every minute of every day was consumed by an emptiness with no end in sight.

The good news is that the majority of suicides are preventable. While some suicides do occur with no prior warning, learning to recognizing the warning signs of someone in crisis may save a life. It is crucial that family, friends, and even co-workers take the signs seriously and get help immediately. Warning signs include:

-- observable signs of serious depression, such as withdrawal, hopelessness, and desperation;

-- increased alcohol or drug use;

-- recent impulsive behavior or risk-taking;

-- threatening suicide or expressing a desire to die;

-- making unusual plans or giving away possessions.

Early recognition and treatment of depression and other mental illnesses is the best method of prevention. Love and support for those suffering from these debilitating illnesses is crucial. Help is available from many directions: 911, doctors, clergy, and suicide hotlines.

We are all -- each and every one of us -- responsible for our fellow man. Not just at Christmastime, but throughout the year. As a strong stock market and prosperity may be beyond our reach this year, let's invest in mankind in 2009. Ralph Waldo Emerson advised, "You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late."

My wish for all this New Year is that we take a renewed interest in our brethren and that every one of us can come to know the quiet peace of a healthy mind and soul.
Contact Robin Beres at (804) 649-6305 or .