FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. -- Far from the combat zones, the strains and separations of enduring wars take a growing toll on military families, despite the armed services' efforts to help.

Divorce lawyers see it in the breakup of young marriages as long, multiple deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan fuel alienation and mistrust. Domestic-violence experts see it in the scuffles that often precede a soldier's departure or sour a briefly joyous homecoming.

Teresa Moss, a counselor at Fort Campbell's Lincoln Elementary School, hears it in the voices of deployed soldiers' children as they meet in groups to share accounts of nightmares, bed-wetting and heartache.

"They listen to each other. They hear that they aren't the only ones not able to sleep, having their teachers yell at them," Moss said.

Even for Army spouses with solid marriages, the separations are an ordeal.

The military has numerous initiatives to support war-strained families. Yet officials acknowledge that the vast needs outweigh available resources, and critics complain of persistent shortcomings -- a dearth of updated data on domestic violence, short shrift for families of National Guard and Reserve members, inadequate support for spouses and children of wounded and traumatized soldiers.

"We are very aware of the increased stresses that the war has caused on the Guardsmen and their families." said Maj. Gen. Robert B. Newman Jr., the Virginia National Guard's commander.

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If the burden sounds heavier than what families bore in the 20th century's longest wars -- World War II and Vietnam -- it is, in some ways. Today's wars entail a deployment pattern of two, three, sometimes four overseas stints of 12 or 15 months, a schedule virtually unheard of in the past.

"It's hard to go away, it's hard to come back, and go away and come back again," said Dr. David Benedek, an Army psychiatrist. "That is happening on a larger scale than in our previous military endeavors."

Almost in one breath, military officials praise the resiliency that enables most of these families to endure while acknowledging that the wars expose them to unprecedented stresses and the risk of long-lasting scars.

Studies by the Army and outside researchers have found that marital strains, risk of child maltreatment and other family problems worsen as soldiers serve multiple combat tours.

For example, a Pentagon-funded study last year concluded that children in some Army families were markedly more vulnerable to abuse and neglect by their mothers when their fathers were deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

In Iraq, the latest survey by Army mental-health experts found that more than 15 percent of deployed married soldiers were planning a divorce, with the rates for soldiers at the late stages of deployment triple those of recent arrivals.

For the Army, the challenges are staggering as it furnishes the bulk of combat forces. As of last year, more than 55 percent of its soldiers were married, a far higher rate than in the Vietnam era. The nearly 513,000 soldiers on active duty collectively had more than 493,000 children.

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Jessica Leonard is raising two small children and teaching a "family team-building" class to other wives at Fort Campbell. Her husband, Capt. Lance Leonard, is in Iraq. She is convinced that domestic violence and divorce are rising at the base, which is home to the 101st Airborne Division.

"Infidelity is huge on both sides -- a wife is lonely, she looks for attention and finds it easier to cheat," she said. "It does make even the most sound marriages second-guess."

She sees evidence of depression and lower morale among soldiers returning for two-week breaks.

"They come home and find that problems are still there," she said. "Instead of a refreshing R-and-R, a nice little second honeymoon, it's battle for two weeks."

Overall, the Army says its domestic-violence rates are no worse than for civilians. But critics say there is a lack of comprehensive data reflecting the impact of war-zone deployments.

The Miles Foundation, which provides domestic-violence assistance to military wives, says its caseload has more than quadrupled during the two latest wars.

"The tactics learned as part of military training are often used by those who commit domestic violence," said the foundation's executive director, Christine Hansen, citing increased proficiency with weapons and psychological tactics such as sleep deprivation.

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The Virginia Guard says it looks at caring for its soldiers, airmen and their family members in new ways since the Sept. 11 attacks.

"We have tried to change our mind-set to let our soldiers and airmen know it is OK to ask for help when they need it," Newman said.

"The old military culture of 'suck it up and drive on' should be a thing of the past," the adjutant general said, "and we want our Guardsmen and their families to know that if they need help, we can help them get it."

About 8,000 soldiers serve in the Virginia Army National Guard, and about 1,200 airmen are in the state's Air National Guard.

Among the Guard's key resources are family assistance centers, located in Sandston, Powhatan, Manassas, Virginia Beach, Chatham, Staunton, Roanoke and Abingdon. The centers reach service families in areas without regular military bases, giving them a nearby way to tap into the military's programs to help families.

The family assistance centers are "a one-stop shop for soldiers and their families," according to Tina Harrison, the state family assistance coordinator.

"We try to get people in touch with other agencies that can help them with their problems," Harrison said, "whether it's legal or employment issues, or something as simple as a spouse needing help with yard work."

One complication is the high rate of post-traumatic stress disorder among service members returning from war. PTSD raises the risk of domestic violence, yet many soldiers and their spouses may not want to acknowledge problems for fear of derailing the soldier's career.

At Fort Campbell, Family Advocacy Program director Louie Sumner, who is in charge of combating domestic violence, encourages people to report suspected abuse. But Sumner also said his program, though one of the Army's best, should do more outreach with the majority of families who live off the huge base, where couples' troubles may go undetected.

"When the soldier goes overseas three, four times, the fuse is a lot shorter," Sumner said. "They explode quicker, and the victim gets hurt worse."

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A Rand Corp. study published in April concluded that military families' divorce rate between 2001 and 2005 was no higher than during peacetime a decade earlier. But the study did not reflect the third and fourth war deployments that have strained many marriages since 2005.

Maj. Mike Oeschger gets a closer look at struggling marriages than he would like in his role as rear detachment commander for the 1st Brigade Combat Team at Fort Campbell. Dealing with family crises while the brigade is in Iraq is a key part of his job.

A husband and father who served in Iraq himself, Oeschger has seen infidelity in multiple forms. Some wives at the base are preyed on by men who know the husbands are overseas. Some war-zone soldiers pursue extramarital affairs over the Internet.

Col. Ronald Crews, a chaplain called from the Reserves to help with family counseling, said long-distance marital crises became so severe for two Fort Campbell soldiers recently that they were sent home from Iraq to handle them.

"Their commander said they wouldn't be of any use until the problems were resolved," Crews said. The soldiers were required to meet with him weekly. One returned to Iraq, the other did not.

For some time, chaplains have been conducting marriage workshops for soldiers back from deployment. Now, says Crews, married soldiers also are required to attend such workshops before they leave.

Medical personnel, meanwhile, have been directed to be more active in screening spouses of deployed soldiers for depression. More than 1,000 "family readiness" assistants are being added, as are dozens of marriage and family therapists.

But for families living off base, there are often far fewer support programs readily available.

"We don't have the support networks that active duty does," said Stacy Bannerman, whose husband, who has been diagnosed with PTSD, served with the Washington State National Guard in Iraq. "There's very little attention paid to reintegration -- bammo, you suddenly go back to your civilian life. I haven't spoken to anyone who hasn't experienced some degree of stress on a marriage."

Times-Dispatch staff writer Peter Bacqué contributed to this report.